It's a part of life to be flawed in one way or another. Your parents might have told you that you are perfect, but I'll break the news... they were lying. Straight up not telling you the truth what-so-ever. But you know what? That's okay. Because now that you know each and every one of us has a flaw, I want you to think about what yours is.
I'm a people pleaser. I hate it. I hate it so hard. I have tried really hard to change this aspect of my personality, but no matter what length I go to stop pleasing people... eventually I fall right back into old habits. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Well, I must be a really old dog.
I have a family member who has decided to no longer participate in mine or my sibling's lives. Not because of anything that we have done wrong, which is something I have to remind myself constantly. Simply because of their own selfish reasons they have decided to has cut us out. I have had to come to terms that I cannot fix, change, or make better of the situation.
This person has not wished me a happy birthday in four years... yet, every single year on theirs, I still send a message like clockwork. I tell them that I hope they have a happy birthday, and that I love them. I never receive a response. Every single year I get my hopes up that they will want to rekindle our relationship, and be in our lives again. But every year I'm left with a response-less text message and my hope shattered.
At times, I argue with those that I love. No matter who is at fault in those arguments, I apologize. I really don't like conflict. By "really don't like conflict", I mean I will do absolutely anything I can to avoid it at all costs. I've learned to keep my head down and say I'm sorry- this way I never have to deal with conflict at all.
More times than not I find myself bending over backwards for people who wouldn't lift a pinky for me. Continuously going above and beyond trying to make a difference, never even receiving a thank you or a smile back. I'm a people pleaser. And I don't think I'll ever change.
But that's okay. I've learned that it's okay to be a people pleaser. Being a people pleaser simply means your heart is large and you just want those around you to be happy. So, for now, catch me caring for all and trying to please everyone.
-morg
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