Sometimes I want to stay in bed. For a long time. Without getting up.
Other times I do laundry obsessively. Until every article of clothing we own is washed, dried, folded, and put away.
I’ll go days without texting my best friend and asking how she’s been. But I get my feelings hurt when she goes shopping without me.
Then. There’s weeks. When I’m numb. Completely numb. To the bone.
A few years ago I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Shortly after we added Depression to that list. Then we tacked on Insomnia. And to round it out I’m now showing signs of Bipolar Disorder.
At 22 years old I never dreamed these would be the struggles I would be battling. I was prepared for student loans and class reunions. Not psychiatrists and chill pills. I can still vividly feel the gut punch I felt when I rushed to the bathroom after my doctor told me he was going to start monitoring my mood swings. It was like the final confirmation that I was ill and it wasn’t going away.
I’m not telling you this because I want your pity or because I think it’s trendy. I’m telling you because it’s life- something you manage, learn to control, and live with. Wake up. Take your meds. Go about your day. Come home. Take your meds. Sleep. Repeat. Mental illness is not a prison sentence, YOU CAN MANAGE IT.
Better yet, you can make that mental illness your female dog!! (We don’t curse around here.) I won’t lie to ya, some days I struggle. I mean, I really struggle. Imagine Barney Stinson misplacing his playbook and losing his charm with the ladies. THAT level of struggle. Rather than camping out in sadness central, I do a few things that I know will lift my spirits. After a while, things start to get better and I can see the faint light at the end of the mental illness tunnel.
Don’t let a diagnosis define you. I am living, breathing, THRIVING proof that if you choose to you can be legen..wait for....hope you’re not lactose intolerant...dary! (if you don’t know who said that, just leave my blog right now) Anywho, lets put an end to this stigma that mental illness is something to be ashamed of. Is it shameful to have diabetes or lupus? Absolutely not. Therefore, it should not be embarrassing or shameful to admit you have a mental illness. Take control of your illness and shine bright :)
-morg
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