Recently I've been thinking about "how can you love someone else if you can't even love yourself". Which, I know, loving yourself is a lot easier said than done. I mean, I love my dog WAY more than I could ever love myself. How could you not? She's the sweetest little fluff nugget.. but that's not what this post is about.
I've put a lot of emphasis on self love in the past few weeks- trying harder to love the person that I am. Deeper than just what I see in the mirror, but how I feel on the inside. I struggle with my mental health, quite a lot.. but I absolutely refuse to let that struggle define the person I am. So, I've decided to hit the hammer on the head.
I asked those closest to me to describe me in one word. I really wasn't sure what they were going to say, so I anxiously waiting by the phone to see what their responses would be. The words I received were eye opening to say the least- I took those words and forced myself to see exactly what they see....
Determined- when I make my mind up, there is absolutely nothing that is going to change it. This personality trait can be a blessing and a curse, however, I think it works out for me. When it was time to choose a major in school I was hell-bent on studying fashion. I landed a job in a cute fashion boutique and worked my way up to a management position- it was my total determination that allowed me to become the fashionista I was.
Spunky- I'll be honest, I had to google search the definition for this one. I thought I knew what it meant, but wanted to be sure. Once I read the Webster definition I immediately understood why this word fits me. The word "spunky" means to be courageous or free spirited, full of energy. If there's one thing I love it's public speaking. It's really a strange thing to love, but opening up and speaking to a bunch of people gives me a sense of power that I can't really explain. Once I get going, I feel unstoppable- almost as if I'm talking to a bunch of my best friends.
Confident- although at times I completely fake it, I want people to know I am unstoppable. Even if whatever I'm doing is complete crap, you best believe I'm going to sell it as if it's my best work. Sometimes I think back to a TED talk I watched starring Amy Cuddy when she said "don't just fake it until you make it. fake it until you become it." If you tell yourself you are a queen, then dag-nab-it YOU ARE A QUEEN.
Funny- okay this is no surprise because I am in fact hilarious. I'm one of those people who says something funny, and then starts laughing, says something even funnier, laughs harder, and then I physically cannot stop. Q: Why don't you ask Yoda for money? A: He's always a little too short. LOL okay I'm done.
Ambitious- this one hit me deep. Not because I didn't know what it meant, or because I was unsure how to relate it. But because I knew how true it was. I understood the effort I put into where I am today, the tears I've cried over homework assignments, the sweat I put into my many many many jobs. I have worked my tiny little rear end off to be the woman I am today. It hasn't been easy and it hasn't by any means been given to me- but I never lost sight of the life I want for myself. Slowly but surely I am getting there, and soon enough all the hard work will be totally worth it.
I want to leave you with this- at times you are going to feel worthless. Absolutely, positively, worthless. Other times you will feel on the top of the world, as if nothing physical could possibly stop you. But you should always, always, always feel worthy. Take that word and force yourself to believe it/relate it/achieve it. You are worthy of anything you put your mind to. The world is yours, just look in the mirror and realize it.
-morg
Comments