Alright, I've worked a lot of retail jobs. I mean, a lot. And let me tell you it actually sucks even more than people make it out to. Not only are you forced to deal with the general public for your entire shift, you're forced to tell the general public that they are ALWAYS right. After many encounters of things I cannot even make up they're so stupid- I'm going to tell you five things every single retail worker has thought but never actually been allowed to say. Here we go...
1. For Christ sake just because there is no price tag on the item does not mean it is free. It simply means the TAG FELL OFF. You aren't being funny, witty, charming, etc by saying "ope it must be free!" In all actuality, I want to hit you with said "free" item.
2. I can promise you it is not my personal vendetta against you to decline your coupon/discount. To your disbelief I actually didn't wake up this morning thinking, I'm going to piss Debbie off today and not allow her coupon. It's actually not my fault you can't read the expiration date, nor is it my problem that you're trying to use a $2 off baby wipes coupon on a BOTTLE OF VODKA.
3. In case you're unaware, a size Medium is the most commonly worn size in junior's clothing. That being said, please don't come in on Christmas Eve and rip me a Rudolph the red nose reindeer new one because we don't have any size mediums for your precious granddaughters perfect gift. How about next year starting your shopping a little earlier and do us ALL a favor and stay home on Christmas Eve. bah humbug.
4. THE. CUSTOMER. IS. NOT. ALWAYS. RIGHT. 99% of the time the customer is actually ignorant and has no flipping clue what they're talking about. Just because you noticed that one type of nuts are 75% off doesn't mean your fifteen dollar nuts will instead be two dollars. That's actually not how it works, please leave my store.
5. If you whole heartedly believe you can find that item at another store, then please, go to said other store. Losing your business will not effect my paycheck and will certainly not effect my day. So, goodbye!
With all of this being said, there truly are some great customers that have shopped with me throughout my retail past. I've had customers lift me up on days they didn't even realize I needed uplifted. They've shared good days and bad days with me, and been kind and patient on each and every one of them. Please remember that we are just trying to do our job to the best of our ability and nine times out of ten, its nothing personal towards you.
-morg
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